Saturday, September 27, 2014

if my child marries yours


If my child marries yours...

I just want you to know that I'm praying for you.

When I'm awake at night - feeding babies, burping babies, giving tylenol to a feverish toddler, covering up chilly toes, tucking green monkeys under little arms - I think of you. Because chances are, you're awake too, doing the same sorts of things. Taking care of tiny children that I already love because they will someday hold the hearts that are beating against my chest tonight.

I'm praying that you'll stand firm against the pressures to overcommit and hyper-schedule, that you'll shut out the voices that tell you you're not doing enough, that your kids aren't doing enough.

I'm praying you'll have the wisdom to know when to pick that crying baby up out of her crib and when to just sit outside her door, your fingertips pressed to the wood, willing her to feel your love and comfort and just finally fall asleep.

I'm praying that you will take those children to church...that the mothers and fathers of our future grandchildren will grow up knowing what it means to worship, even when that means missing out-of-town basketball tournaments and marathon sleepovers.

I'm praying that your love for and commitment to your spouse will swell with each year you're together, that you will grow to love the legacy you are creating just as much as you adore the person you're creating it with.

I'm praying that you take lots of pictures so that I can see where our grandchildren got their sticky-out ears and their mischievous grins.

I'm praying that Jesus will give you just enough strength each day to keep you from losing it but not so much that you forget Who that strength comes from.

I'm praying that we will be friends.

Will you pray those things for me too?

I don't really pray for your child. Maybe I should. My husband does that, and I think it's wonderful. But chances are, your child is just fine. And chances are, a lot of the time, you aren't. Chances are, if you're anything like me, you're very tired. And some days, you get so discouraged. Sometimes, your temper erupts, your selfishness wins, and your smile is fake. Sometimes you forget to change the baby's diaper, to spend time being silly with your toddler, to really see your spouse. So it's you I am praying for right now, in the still darkness, with this baby fist pressed up under my chin and this sweet, sleepy breath on my ear. May you feel these prayers when you need them the most.

We are in this together, you and I. We are building something beautiful with each onesie folded, each invisible owie kissed, each story read.

You don't know how much it means to me that you give your children everything you have every single day...even on days when it's not much at all. Because your child will fall asleep next to mine for fifty-some years. Your child will be the one holding my child's hand when our first grandchild is born. And when they face the darkest days of their lives, it will be your child and mine, facing into the struggle together.

I'm pretty sure that our longest days - the ones that are brim-full with hair-pulling moments, impossible messes, and toddler meltdowns - those are the days that we are fashioning hearts. And someday, one of the hearts I'm helping create will crash into one of your love-crafted hearts, and what spills out as a result of that jolt...it's kind of up to us. I promise to tend to these hearts with utmost care, to plant in them humility and peace and selflessness...especially selflessness. I promise to plant Jesus seeds in these hearts every chance I get. And I promise to keep praying for you.

I'm praying that you will hug your boy tight when he's sad or lonely or scared. Because someday, my girl - all grown beautiful with babies of her own - will be sad or lonely or scared. And he'll need to know how to hold her. Teach him.

And let your daughters hear you speak righteous words that bring life and hope. Because someday, my sons will be worn and weary, and the words you're placing in your daughters' minds today just might become the balm to my sons' souls.

I'm doing my best to do the same. And sometimes...much of the time...I fail. Pray for me too.

Someday we will sit on opposite sides of the aisle...all fancy and with gobs of tissues tucked into our fists. We'll watch our silly, sticky, sweet babies somehow transform into brides and grooms and make the same promises to one another that we ourselves have kept...against all odds and only by His grace. And we will watch these children create families of their own with the ingredients we have given them. The ingredients we are slipping into their souls today.

But until then, I'm sitting here in the dark with babies in my arms.

And I'm praying for you.


391 comments:

  1. Thank you. A thousand times. I needed this today. Praying for you too x

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are such a beautiful writer. Thank you for sharing these words to remember

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are such a beautiful soul, inside and out.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Your posts always have me tearing up. You are a beautiful writer :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. You, my friend, are one of a kind. Beautiful, beautiful words. Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow, wow, wow! I need to copy this post onto my computer or print it or something, because wow. What beautiful words. Really, I am speechless and in tears. I loved this post so much.

    PS - Can my daughters marry your boys please?!?! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Someone on my Facebook (not a blog friend) just shared this post!! What a small world... and what a post to be shared! :)

      Delete
    2. Someone on my Facebook shared this and I thought I would put in a word of encouragement. I did this for years for my own children and am glad you are too. Mine are all married to wonderful Christian mates. It is worth it! Now I am praying for my grandchildren. :-)

      Delete
    3. This is one of the most beautiful posts I've ever had the pleasure of reading. May you, your sons, and their future wives be blessed. Thank You!!!

      Delete
  7. I've come back to this post twice today, and told Hottie about it with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. This is truly special, Em. These words are burned in my heart forever!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh my goodness, Em. This is beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes. I love this post. You're an amazing mama.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Absolutely beautiful xoxo So glad you shared this with us!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Many times I've prayed over my future daughters-in-law and son-in-law in this manner. Thank you for putting this out there. Nothing shows more love to and for our kids than the prayers we pray for them and the ones they'll one day love that God has chosen for them before they were even born. Beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Never thought of it before. Good perspective and a wonderful thing to think about. It's just nice to know that a stranger may be praying for you because one day you will cross paths. Life is a wonderful thing, and kindness is even more wonderful. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Love this. Thanks so much for putting it all into beautiful words.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Wow. Thank you for writing this. Absolutely lovely.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Beautifully written words that can definitely be an encouragement to moms with kids of all ages!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wow- so timely. I have three little girls (4, 2, 1) and the last month has been way too full of "those" moments/days. Thank you a million times over for letting God speak through you, it brought me out of the "pit" and reminded me of the bigger picture. THANK YOU. And yes, I'm praying. =)

    ReplyDelete
  16. I just read something I feel in my heart 100%. When someone else writes out your words for you, it's the most amazing thing.

    I have suffered from postpartum anxiety, and my baby (who's now one) was colicky. How many nights I cried in the darkness asking God to heal me. You are a beautiful writer and you've truly spoken to my heart in a way not many people can.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Beautifully written.

    ReplyDelete
  18. This is delightfully inspiring! What a gift!

    ReplyDelete
  19. So beautiful ....tears rolling down my cheeks. You are so much more spiritual than I am. My oldest is already married (and to a wonderful young lady who's mother I did love) but oh, how I wish the concept had occurred to me to pray for the other mom's too. (I still have seven left so I will start that today.) Thank you for spurring us on to love and good works with your beautiful prose.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Em, this is beautiful. I'm sharing it is so wonderful!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Dear beautiful mommy: My baby has a beard now and is a freshman in college. I still rock him in my heart and I continue to pray that, whoever he marries, our families will blend... and her mom and I will become inseparable friends. I might actually be watching this happen. Her mom has prayed the same thing. It's too soon to tell, but even waiting here is beautiful.

    Thank you for writing. A friend of mine sent your entry to me and I'm on my way to her page to gush out my thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Seriously LOVE THIS! A great reminder!

    ReplyDelete
  23. This is beautifully written from the heart! I cried as I read it!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Thank you. So beautiful. I have 11 more mamas to be praying for. I hope I have some praying for me too.

    ReplyDelete
  25. What an amazing post! As the mom of a daughter and son, I felt every word. Thank you for this beautiful prayer.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Em This is such a beautiful prayer. I feel the words speak to my heart. I have prayed like words for my children and their spouses to be. I now pray for my gran children and their spouses to be.
    God give us Christian mothers who pray and teach their children to love you. Let Jesus be one of their first words. Thanks so much.

    ReplyDelete
  27. This is one of the most beautiful and touching "Message to the Future " letters ever written. Thank you so much for sharing this. Priceless. This is a perfect letter to save in a decorative Baby Time Capsule for your child to open and read when he or she gets married, in the future. Get a Baby or Wedding Time Capsule from www.time capsule.com. - Marcie

    ReplyDelete
  28. I really sat down and took a moment to read this, I have only one child that is my heart he isn't mine by blood but a child GoD put in my path possibly b/ c he has another path for me and although the possibility of never being able to have a child of my own I've embraced his gift and I constantly struggle w/ the idea of making him into a man and if I'm strong enough to help instill the values I believe will help mold him. Thanks I enjoyed reading this tonight! Just_jen

    ReplyDelete
  29. Speaking as a mom who prayed similar prayers i assure you without a doubt God will hear. My son was married a year ago to a beautiful woman, full of the love of Jesus. And me? Not only have I gained a daughter but I have gained a beautiful friend in the form of her mother, it's as if we were meant to be friends forever and now together we pray for our future grandchildren. Thank you for these words which give me a glimpse into what God was seeing in two moms who didn't even know one another until five years ago!! God Bless you

    ReplyDelete
  30. This is beautiful. Our oldest son just married this summer and we love our daughter-in-love and her family. I cried the entire time I was reading this.

    ReplyDelete
  31. This is the best ever! THANK YOU for sharing this wonderful insight of who to add to my prayer list. You write so beautifully by putting what is in all our hearts into words.

    ReplyDelete
  32. thank you! I really needed to read tonight, and as I'm sitting on the edge of my bed after at last getting my three boys to fall asleep. I'm praying for you too.

    ReplyDelete
  33. All perfectly said, and SO needed today! I loved this! God bless you and keep giving you grace and strength to "write" the truth. May God implant His truth into the minds and hearts of all who enter here. May ALL the mom's in the world find time to find you!

    ReplyDelete
  34. one of the most moving...loving....inspirational things i have ever read! Thank you for sharing :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. This was beautifully written! I pray for my boys future wives a lot! I need to pray for those wives parents more also! Great perspective!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Beautifully written! My prayers are similar, but I love the way you worded this. Awesome perspective praying for the mother of your son and daughter-in-laws!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Love, love, love this. It's amazing how much I can relate to this post. I often think and even pray for my children's future spouses and for their ability to thrive in this dark world. We are very intentional in our parenting and this post is so refreshing. Yes, we too get it wrong, often but the pursuit remains. This is just so beautifully written and as a writer I can really appreciate your eloquent words. Great job. I could read this everyday!

    ReplyDelete
  38. I have always prayed for my children's future spouses ~ their purity, their love for Jesus, their hearts. Now I will pray for the parents too. WOW! Beautiful article. Put me in tears!! Thank you ~Linda

    ReplyDelete
  39. Wonderfully written………..

    ReplyDelete
  40. AMEN!!! Great job! Thank you

    ReplyDelete
  41. Oh my goodness! I wish I had read this 20 years ago. I'd better get started praying!!!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Just beautiful. I never thought about it when my child was a baby, but now that she is in college and meeting boys...I look at those boys and wonder if they have the same morals and values that I gave my daughter. Praying for all.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Pray for your child-in-law as they are your child's spouse. Most likely, if hings are going well for your in-law, they will be going well for your child. Conversely, if you make things difficult for your in-law you are creating difficulty for your child. You do not have to 100% think this is the choice your child should have made in a spouse. Remember, your child is 100% right that it is the right choice. Support the choice and, if things do go wrong, be there to soften the landing and encourage the next few steps.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Wow. I stumbled on this post in my Facebook newsfeed, as I held my sleeping 5 year old daughter on my chest. At the same time, sobbing so hard as I read it to my 12 year old daughter. Thankful God led you to share. Funny how He works. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  45. I pray for the future spouses of my four children regularly but I had never thought to pray for their parents, for the now. Thank you for this.

    ReplyDelete
  46. I literally cried through this whole post. Thank you for these words. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  47. This is beautiful! I never thought to pray for my children future family. I pray so often for my parenting mistakes not mess up my children. I pray that they find the love that God has given their dad and I and better. I will tweek my prayers after reading this. Going to wipe my eyes and say my prayers. <3

    ReplyDelete
  48. I've thought often of the women raising the girls and boys who will marry my children, asking the Lord to bless, keep and honor them. Lovely, lovely post. Fit words aptly spoken indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Seriously some of the most beautiful words I have ever read. I started crying in the first paragraph! Thank you for the eloquence! I have been praying for my children's future spouses and their families since I was pregnant with my first child, and I will continue for the rest of my life. The power in that should definitely not be underestimated! Thank you for writing this! We need all the parents we can get praying for one another and for our children.

    ReplyDelete
  50. How beautiful.....you have me crying Em. Andrew is blessed with such a beautiful and talented soul for a wife. Thanks for reminding me to pray. I will pray for you and others like me out there. Def awesome read!!

    ReplyDelete
  51. This is absolutely beautiful! You are a gifted writer!! I love all the thoughts here and need this reminder to pray. Thank you for sharing your heart.

    ReplyDelete
  52. I just came across two of your posts on facebook within five minutes posted by two different people I know! Both beautiful and right on target for me. As a mom of 7, including twin boys, I feel like you are writing about my life, just much more eloquently! I look forward to reading more.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Karin from SwitzerlandSeptember 30, 2014 at 3:43 AM

    Thank you for your inspiring words. I have been praying for you too. But it is so wonderful to finally put a face to the thought of you. Your encouragment has helped me find the motivation today to nurture my three little brides-to-be! May God help us!

    ReplyDelete
  54. Thank you so much for this... and you are right, I would need to pray for the parents of whoever my boys will end up with, because they are the ones shaping the character and spirit of my future daughters.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Wow. I totally just lost it. As I sit here in the quiet of the morning, the calm before the storm, thinking about everything I have to do today, I stopped to read this post someone shared on my page. What a beautiful "big picture" moment. Thanks for sharing this precious picture with us who need reminding what it's all about.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Thank you so much for this beautiful reminder that we have a powerful gift of prayer. Bless you!

    ReplyDelete
  57. Wow! Thank you. My husband Rob and I (32 years in April but I've know Rob since I was 9) have raised 3 awesome babies. Two boys and a girls. You have made me realized what I have done all these years. But I never thought of praying for that other Mom & Dad. Our kids now are well in there 20's & 30's. And I pray that they too will have what Rob and I have.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Beautifully written and had me in tears as I am up early holding babies. What a great reminder. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  59. Thank you for this! Absolutely beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  60. How beautiful! Thanks for this reminder!

    -Hannah

    ReplyDelete
  61. Heartfelt... just what this mama needed to read this morning...

    ReplyDelete
  62. Awesome words...thank you for sharing them.

    ReplyDelete
  63. You have put into words what my heart has often said. You have a gift!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank You for such a wonderful writting. I have had my chance, now it is for many others.

      Delete
  64. My youngest son is getting married Dec. 10th..which is the same date I married my husband 44 years ago & my inlaws married in 1930. I am sitting here with tears running down my face. Beautiful words. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  65. Beautifully written! As a teen I had this philosophy in regards to a husband I seldom prayed for him I did however pray for my Mother in law (having no idea who she would be) and the Lord blessed me with abundantly! I pray that the Lord blesses my children as much as he has me.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Tears this morning reading this.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Beautiful! You are a wonderful writer. I pray for my nieces and nephews and their parents. I pray for their friends. On occasion I pray for their future spouses. I see that I have some more people to add to my prayers each night. God didn't bless me with a husband and children, but He gave me many children to love, nieces and nephews, students and church kids, so many souls to nurture. Thank you for a wonderful, soul-touching post.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Wow! Thank you. Some days (today being one of them) I just feel like I'm going to fall apart..... This was very much a blessing to me. I AM NOT ALONE!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  69. And I cannot begin to describe the awe and wonder of meeting the ones yo've been praying for your child's whole life. It is a holy thing, after the engagement has been announced, meeting "the parents"!

    ReplyDelete
  70. My best friend and I are due two days apart. She is having a precious baby boy and I'm having a sweet baby girl. We joke that we can finally be related when our children marry each other in 25 years. But realistically, I know that there is probably another lady out there already raising a boy or is pregnant with my baby girl's future husband. My mother told me that she prayed for our future spouses from the moment we were conceived. And I believe that my husband is the answer to her prayers. So in addition to praying for my future son-in-law, your article has brought a new prayer to my heart: the prayer for my future son-in-law's parents. That they will love Christ and teach their son all that you have mentioned here. Thank you for this BEAUTIFUL prayer. I have shared it with my best friend as well. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  71. This is really and truly a beautiful ideal that we want for our children. However, I always wonder about the children who have never known this kind of love. Would we be parents willing to allow our children to share the love of Christ with someone from a broken home? Besides Christ's perfect love story with us, I've yet to encounter such a love story in the Bible.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Absolutely beautiful....Thank you for sharing your heart.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Wonderful. The trip down the aisle happens before you know it. Deep breath sweet lady, you are a wonderful writer, and, I'm sure God has given you all you need for your sweet children. .. and what you don't already have, He'll supply as you need it! I love your heart and will be praying for you . . .and your childrens' future in-laws! <3

    ReplyDelete
  74. Thank you for opening my mind to the thought of that far in the future! I have two daughters, so this is very touching. We tend to worry about the "here and now" and neglect the BIG picture in life. How you raise your children, what you teach them, and how you model life from birth molds who they become when they are grown.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Our single chick is a Senior now. She has struggles with Clinical Depression and self-harm. I have prayed for a future mate to see her heart. The heart so tender that it is easily bruised. The heart that goes to elderly people at Walmart and asks if she can carry groceries or load their car. The heart that works in the Nursery with the babies. As I check on her at night to make sure she isn't having one of those bad dreams, I pray that there is a Christ like young man that can see beyond the scars on her arms to her heart and the battles against darkness she has won. She is my almost grown baby and an amazing young woman. I would never have wished her to walk this road, but she has done so with courage and grace and has hung on to Jesus and my hand in the dark days. I am so blessed to have been her mom.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Thank you for putting into words what my heart feels.

    ReplyDelete
  77. This is such a sweet post! And I’ve seen it posted on facebook by like 3 people already! You are wonderful at articulating thoughts and emotions into understandable, relatable words. Thank you for sharing your heart. <3

    ReplyDelete
  78. Beautiful . . . . you have said it perfectly and I believe through the eyes of Christ.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Just Beautiful! ! ♡ #tears

    ReplyDelete
  80. I'd say you all exhibit overwhelming evidence of "MOMMY COMPLEXES" ladies! Find something else to do with your lives (like working for a truly worthy charity) or those beautiful perfect children will, by the time they are 13 or 14, think the world is centered on them! Uh! And your hubby is having an affair with his secretary, or office boy! -- not that any of you have bothered to notice. You've been too busy clipping pictures of your perfect children and praying on your knees because it is the only thing you can do with your boring, silly, empty lives!!!

    ReplyDelete
  81. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  82. I thought this was wonderful. I just happened upon it when a friend posted a link on facebook. I live in remote Alaska and I also have a daughter (7) and twin sons (5) though mine are a little older. Thank you for this article it really gives something to think and pray about. My blog is Sweet Homestead Alaska http://remotealaska.blogspot.com my blog is more for updating my family on what we are doing up here in Alaska. It is amazing the way that social media has allowed you to reach out to people and to inspire.

    ReplyDelete
  83. Thank you EM for showing your heart to others. When I first met my mother-in-law to be she had told me that she had been praying for me. At the time I didn't have a clue to what she was talking about. Now that I have a son of my own I do. She had been praying for the wife of her son (me) since he was in the womb. When I discovered this I thought how can I compete with this woman? I didn't, I joined her by praying for my son when he was in my womb. I've been praying for his wife to be for the past 25 years and I'm still waiting to meet her.

    ReplyDelete
  84. Wow!! Thank you thank you for these beautiful words!!

    ReplyDelete
  85. Such beautiful words....thank you for sharing your heart! It definitely opens my eyes and challenges me to think of who I've not been praying for, but should.

    ReplyDelete
  86. When I read something like this I am reminded that all is not lost, that good, true and honest good still exists in this world that can feel so dark and alone. Thank you for sharing that truth with me this morning.

    ReplyDelete
  87. How am I one of the only guys writing on this? As a single, young, Christian adult, I am so appreciate of this! I hope that my mother and father and law were/have been praying for me and my parents, and this will be a reminder for me to do the same. Thanks so much for this!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  88. Beautiful thoughts, words, and feelings! Thank you for sharing kindred Mom. We are all in this together. May we always pray for each other!

    ReplyDelete
  89. Wow, absolutely beautiful. As I sit here with tears welling, thank you so much.

    ReplyDelete
  90. This post brought back such memories. I have prayed for my son's wife and her family for 24 years. I had no idea who she was but I knew I would know her when I met her. This past March he met a girl through a mutual friend. He brought her home in April for us to meet her. I told him then he could quit looking. They are marrying in December!!! Answered prayer.

    ReplyDelete
  91. Oh wow, this knocked the wind out of me. You had no idea how much you were going to touch people when you posted this, did you?

    ReplyDelete
  92. Thank you so much for those beautiful thoughts. If only I could be so lucky to have my daughters marry your sons ;)

    ReplyDelete
  93. I have read many blog posts, but I have never felt the need to comment before, until now. I admit it has never crossed my mind to pray for the mother of the child my child will marry, but I will start today. Thank you for your words. God spoke through you today.

    ReplyDelete
  94. I have been praying for these same types of things for over 24 years now. I realize I'm not the only one who does that ~ it's encouraging and such a sweet gift to read the words of one who does.
    Thank you! <3 (=

    ReplyDelete
  95. My children are 21 and 19 now and I do pray for their future spouses. The oldest is in college and has a "close friend". I do love his mom and she has taught him well. This is so beautiful and I cried through the whole thing. I am sharing this with other young mothers. What a great reminder!

    ReplyDelete
  96. Em, I shared your blog on our FB page, DiscoverGod4Kids. My husband and I have prayed for our children's spouses since they were babies but we didn't think to pray for their parents. I don't know why it never occurred to us. What a beautiful reminder!

    ReplyDelete
  97. Absolutely wonderful. Thank you for sharing your heart. I had a good cry over this one :).

    ReplyDelete
  98. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  99. This is beautiful. God used your words to take something so simple, yet extraordinary to so many of our hearts! Thanks for hitting publish!

    ReplyDelete
  100. This is awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  101. This! So very much this. Thank you for writing, now I shall carry out your example.

    ReplyDelete
  102. This is so beautiful. It really touched me!

    ReplyDelete
  103. Ohmygoodness! My BFF sent this to me and said it was a great read! Well, I have sent it on to my sister and told her to pass it on too. I LOVE this post! I honestly don't think Ive ever thought to pray for the future in loves, other than the kids. Now I will! I want to be friends with them and to love them too! I want it to be one big happy family, as much as it can be. Thank you so much for this reminder to make it that way now!

    ReplyDelete
  104. This is very sweet. Remember, however, that your kids might end up being gay or single or not the heterosexual "ideal" that you're referencing here. Be prepared for how you will show them love no matter what.

    ReplyDelete
  105. What a beautiful prayer. Thank you for bearing your soul through such lyrical and honest words. You've said what so many of us have thought but are not able to so elegantly write down. God bless you and your babies. :)

    ReplyDelete
  106. This is so beautiful. I do not consider myself a "crier" but I'm a puddle right now.

    ReplyDelete
  107. Guess you're praying your kids don't marry mine.

    I love the idea & sentiment of this piece but am very, very not crazy about how alienating it feels to those of us who aspire to raise moral, well-mannered, loving children of other faiths. There are lots of great non-Christian parents out there with kids who will be worth marrying one day, too - parenting just as hard & just as well as you are.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, this- and there are kids without parents, and kids who aren't heterosexual (maybe even your own) or whose parents might not be. There are kids and parents who have different morals than your kids have- and that might be a good thing, something everyone can learn from. And there's the possibility that your kids might not get married at all, and that's ok too.

      Delete
    2. Thank you for making this point! The smug, exclusionist assertion that Christians are the only people capable of raising loving parents and potential life partners for ANYONE, heterosexual, gay, or whatever, is insulting to all of the wonderful parents that ever existed.

      Delete
  108. Awe, so very beautiful. Such a heartwarming post to read today. :)

    ReplyDelete
  109. THANK YOU Em for this! My children are all grown except for my youngest teenage son. I pray for him and my grandchildren every day and will add you to my prayers. I sent your post to my oldest daughter who is the single mother of two beautiful boys aged 4 and 22 months.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Beautiful, but now I feel like a failing dad, thanks. :P

    ReplyDelete
  111. This was unbelievably beautiful!!! I have often thought similar thoughts and prsyers but have yet to write them down. You captured everything I've wanted to say. Brought me,to tears. Thank you for this! Praying for you too sweet mama ❤

    ReplyDelete
  112. Peace be with you and yours, What a beautiful piece of love you've written.

    ReplyDelete
  113. This was absolutely beautiful. I saw it on a friend's FB page and shared it myself, and others have shared it from me. I have two boys and two girls (8, 6, 3, 9 months) and I have cried all three times I've read this today. You were inspired to write this. Absolutely beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  114. I just met you and I love you. A totally new perspective. I wish I had read this when my children were children. Somehow I was a success. My 3 children are all beautiful people and parents. I want my kids and grandkids to read this.

    ReplyDelete
  115. This is awesome, great thoughts to end my work day *in tears*, but good ones! Beautiful, sharing this!

    ReplyDelete
  116. Thank you! This is such a beautiful post! I pray for my sons' vocations and their someday spouses, and now because of your beautiful praying mama heart, I am so excited to add the mamas that are currently raising their beautiful daughters along side me.

    ReplyDelete
  117. Oh, Em! I sit here with a wet face. How I wish I'd had this vision when my children were younger. Of our six, 5 of them are 16 to 28 years old. Only one is married. Our youngest is almost 12. Thank you for the lovely words. I am sharing on facebook, hoping to inspire my young-mother friends. And I'm a little late, but I'll adapt this prayer for my own circumstance. Thank you. I love your heart.

    ReplyDelete
  118. This is beautiful, except for this part: "I'm praying you'll have the wisdom to know when to pick that crying baby up out of her crib and when to just sit outside her door, your fingertips pressed to the wood, willing her to feel your love and comfort and just finally fall asleep."

    My husband and I don't let our children cry themselves to sleep. I don't believe that a baby can ever understand why their parents suddenly neglect them and let them scream until they fall asleep from exhaustion. They respond to their cries during the day, but for some reason, babies don't need help a night? There's a lot of science to show the harm this causes, but even without scientific proof, I don't know how parents can justify it. I'm sorry to come in and post something negative amongst all these kind comments. I truly enjoyed the rest of the piece. But I found it disheartening that no one else seemed to think there was a problem with this. So I'm commenting in hopes that some parent will read this, and realize that you.don't have to let babies "sleep train." Check this out please: http://nurshable.com/2012/07/19/the-wio-wait-it-out-method-of-sleep-training/

    -Monica

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Monica: I don't think Emily said anything about neglecting her children. I'm sure you don't know her personally, because I do -- and she is a fantastic mom. You have no idea what her parenting methods are, and that snippet that you pulled out is not Emily trying to advocate for a specific type of sleep training. I think you read into that. Also, there is a lot of research about many different methods of sleep training. Your link didn't go to any research info by the way.

      Delete
    2. Hi Anonymous,

      I think you'll notice that I did not mention her parenting methods, or say she isn't a fantastic mom. The main focus of my comment was that babies don't have to cry it out. There are gentle methods to teach them to sleep. I was surprised that no one else seemed to think that paragraph stood out among the rest of this nice blog post. While she may not have meant neglecting per se, she also didn't make a distinction about how much the baby was crying, or why the parent wouldn't just go in, etc. If I were to post something like that, I would add details so that parents wouldn't even have to think about what I meant. I would leave no doubt in their minds that I do not advocate for controlled crying or whatever euphemism people choose to use regarding sleep training. There was room for questioning here, as I described above. I felt it necessary to comment that there are other options, in case other readers thought the same thing i did; that we should pray for our fellow parents who are knee-deep in the dreaded sleep training. You'll notice that I said I was commenting in hopes that someone would read this and know that there are other options for helping their babies sleep. The link I shared was not intended to be research, by the way. It is a link to a beautifully written post about the wait it out method. I said in my original comment that I didn't think science was needed here, but if you want science to show you that babies don't need to be taught to self-soothe, then I can share it. As I said in another comment below, I'll be praying that my children's in-laws have the strength and courage to get through these hard times, and to know that they don't have to follow western thinking when it comes to baby sleep.

      -Monica

      Delete
  119. Thank You Thank You Thank You for pinning the exact words that my heart needed to hear today. I too am praying for you!

    ReplyDelete
  120. To add to my above comment, I won't pray for wisdom as they let their babies cry themselves to sleep. I'll pray that they have compassion. I'll pray that they have the strength to go against western 'advice' on sleep. I'll pray that they teach their sons to be patient and help a baby in need, so that my grandbabies don't have to cry themselves to sleep. I'll pray that they'll be like my husband, who still let's my nearly 2.5 year old fall asleep on his chest if she needs it.

    -Monica

    ReplyDelete
  121. Love this! Thank you so much for writing what I often times forget. The Lord is working in you and through you! God Blessings on you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  122. I think the best thing about this post, which I absolutely LOVE, is that you have now inspired a whole lot of other Mums to do likewise... so we shall have an expanding pool of very blessed children for our children to marry some day! We mums need to be able to remember a big picture like this, a legacy that we are creating, not just the hours of screaming kids, lack of sleep and messy homes. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful insight. Bless you. :)

    ReplyDelete
  123. wow!!!!!!!!!!!!! How Beautiful !!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!! Prayers are needed everywhere everyday!
    !!

    ReplyDelete
  124. And I agree with you that sometimes you do need to leave a child to cry. I don't believe there's anything wrong with letting them cry (not scream hysterically because something is wrong, which is what causes damage, but complain and grizzle - there are different kinds of cries) if they are simply not wanting to sleep and all their food/drink/nappy/warmth/wellness etc needs have been met. There are lots of methods of sleep training and controlled crying (not the same as cry it out, though honestly sometimes that's all you can do - it's better than losing it) is only one of them.

    Please don't feel, anyone, that to be a good parent you have to be a martyr. Kids need reasonably rested, sane parents. If it's not happening for you, there are people who can give you advice and programs/routines (often with not much crying involved) that will help your baby learn to self-settle, one is called Baby Sleep Consultant. Not a plug for her so much as saying she's one I know who is very good.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Em, my name is Emily. I have 3 boys aged 7y, 4y, and 2y. I would love for your daughter to meet them... in about 15 - 20 years. :) But in all seriousness, I'm sitting her in tears after reading your post. I even read it out loud to my husband. Your words so eloquently captured the steady rhythm of motherhood. Sometimes it's light and melodic. And other times its overwhelming and burdensome. But it's always precious. This was beautiful. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  126. Amazing! I also have twin sons and a daughter. One of my boys was married this Saturday, the day of this blog. I felt like you were speaking through my heart. I shared this with his new mother and law and now my friend! So blessed!

    ReplyDelete
  127. Awesome. I wish everyone would read this and try to live by it. Been there, done that.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Beautiful! Heart-wrenching truth! As I read this tears coming down my face as my daughter sits and does homework and my two boys bouncing off the furniture. I have often thought about this same thing. Hoping and praying for those future someones to be filled with love, worship and compassion. In our generation it is our job and duty to TEACH our children who and what they become. I will continue to pray <3

    ReplyDelete
  129. Absolutely beautiful and so very true! Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  130. While I understand what you are saying, isn't this a little self-centered? What if it isn't God's will for your child to get married? Do you pray for your child also and not just the mother of a spouse they may never have? Do you pray that your child will become what God has created him/her to be and that he/she will live in His will, regardless of whether or not that includes your desire for them to be married? Just a thought.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Um....why after reading this blog would you even doubt that she is praying for God's will for her child's life? I think you are missing the entire point of this. Please before you decied to share a thought, attempt to think it through.

      Delete
  131. Such an amazing post. I really needed that. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  132. Wow! This is so beautiful I'm speechless.

    ReplyDelete
  133. Teachmetobraid, please meet Simply Living at fromheretoeternityblog.com

    http://www.fromheretoeternityblog.com/2014/07/a-letter-to-my-future-son-in-law.html

    ReplyDelete
  134. This is beautifully written and what a wonderful reminder of the prayers we simply need to "ask to receive". THANKYOU

    ReplyDelete
  135. Wow Em, I saw this in my reader and now it just came across my FB feed (CRAZY!) and that reminded me I needed to come comment. Beautifully written, as always, and I adore this concept of praying for the other mother out there who is going through the same thing as us. You are doing the best you can, and with God's help, that is enough. ((HUGS))

    ReplyDelete
  136. Thank you for putting into words what we mothers feel in our hearts and for causing us to look at the bigger picture when we feel overwhelmed by our daily routines. You are gifted in being able to express these feelings. Keep sharing these thoughts. You are both blessing and encouraging weary parents to press on - that the goal is truly worth it. God bless you ~

    ReplyDelete
  137. This is just so beautiful! I have thought often about praying for my children's future spouses, but not for their in-laws as much. I will now! Thank you so much for writing this. I loved it and am so encouraged and thankful after reading these words.

    ReplyDelete
  138. Someone posted this on my facebook page .and I have to say ,,this is the most beautiful letter I have ever read in my sixty two years.
    I have three grown sons and can not say that I did everything right, maybe not very much right, in raising them..But,I love them each one has a soft, pliable heart, They love their wives ,and they love their children,
    I guess what I really want to say is,,it would be a wonderful thing to happen,for every young mother,when leaving the hospital,with her new baby,,to be handed this letter to read and reflect on what you are saying. Everyone thinks about pink skin,and baby magic lotions,and pampers,.but,the incredible responsibility of bringing a new soul into the world is something a young person can not even begin to understand. I wish I would have had something like this to ponder and to guide me for my childrens future. Thank you so much,,I truly believe you were inspired by God to write this.

    ReplyDelete
  139. I also prayed for my daughter's future spouse from the time she was a baby. When she did decide to marry, her husband had not come through his childhood unscathed. I told her I had prayed all her life for her future husband, and the parents who were raising him. I told her I didn't think this boy/man is who I prayed for. She told me that maybe he is the man he is today, because I prayed for him all those years. Oh, the wisdom of our children! (We now have 2 wonderful grandchildren!)

    ReplyDelete
  140. From one writer to another, job well done. That hit me right in the feels.

    ReplyDelete
  141. This is beautiful. My daughter is grown now but I pray that that she will be able to be a wonderful wife to someone's son and I pray that young man will know how to comfort and love my daughter. I pray that only good words and up lifting words are always spoken between them. Thank you for doing such a wonderful job raising your son and my future son n law. G.H.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Beautiful! To be honest this concept of praying for their parents isn't something I had ever thought of before. I have prayed for my children's future spouses but I love the thought of praying for their parents too because as you said - at this stage especially, they are the ones that will have the greatest influence in that child's life.

    ReplyDelete
  143. That was lovely, though it made me think of my father who said to my mom once, "What do you think your father would have said if I'd come to take you on a date when you were 15 and I was 30?" (They married at 33 & 48, still living at 85 & 100).

    Perhaps the person to marry your child is dealing with a fractious teenager right now, and they probably REALLY need prayer! ;-)

    Lovely piece.

    ReplyDelete
  144. Your heart is wonderfully beautiful. Keep praying Mama. I'll do the same for you.
    Thanks for touching my heart,
    Amy W.

    ReplyDelete
  145. My Mom told me she would pray for each of our future spouses, so as a teen I often prayed for my future spouse before we met. When I told him about that, and we matched up how old I was with what was going on in his life, he said something like "wow, I really did need that then."

    Thank you for the reminder, I have prayed for the kids out there who my kids will love one day. But I did not think to pray for their parents. =)

    ReplyDelete
  146. Beautiful words from a beautiful soul. Thank you for this. I pray that God continues to give you things like this for others to read. God bless you and yours.

    ReplyDelete
  147. beautiful words.... just made my day...

    ReplyDelete
  148. The idea behind this is lovely. But your assumptions send a shock of fear through me.
    What if our children want to marry each other, but they want to escape to an office, and just have two witnesses, to experience their moment in the world they have made? What if my church doesn't look like anything like your church, and we don't go to a building, on Sundays, to worship? What if my son and your son want to marry each other? Will you pray for me to be more like you, for my son to be different? Or will you love me, and accept my friendship, just the same?

    ReplyDelete
  149. I hadn't through this far ahead, but it is a truly beautiful concept, beautifully written.

    ReplyDelete
  150. This is just gorgeous !
    *love* both as the messages and the quality of the writing. Thanks !

    ReplyDelete
  151. Obviously there are ENDLESS subjects to pray on regarding your children. Obviously praying for someone/something in the future whether it will exist or not is meant to be helpful. I know that my parent's pray(ed) for my future when I was little and still do. I just pray all of you parents out there pray for more important things then future spouses and their families. This prayer comes from wanting the absolute best for the children you love the absolute most, and some Christian dedication. . . but I pray that you instill them with knowing themselves enough that not getting married is beyond ok. That they can be complete without a traditional life plan. How the love they have is worthy enough to be spent on the whole world and things besides a spouse.

    ReplyDelete
  152. So much from the heart of a mother--I felt it to the core of my being!! Sometimes I wish I didnt love so deeply and strongly!! With the struggles that life has made or placed before us the way I love and protect my children is sometimes heartwrenching, I know this makes no sense to everyone but wanted to somewhat explain why I said what I did. So please pray for me as I will for u!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  153. I have been praying for my sons' wives and their parents, especially the marriages of their parents, for almost 32 years now. Next year, two of my sons will be marrying--and it is hard to describe that joyful awe in realizing the years of prayer that I have invested in these young women and their families. To God be the glory!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen and congratulations! Soon you'll have grandkidss to pray for too. . And their future spouses. 0:)

      Delete
  154. OMGosh! This is beautiful ! I pray that you continue to pray for that other mother and she for you and, I pray for you both.
    Keep doing your thing, Mama, because you are doing great!

    ReplyDelete
  155. words fail me right this minute. I read this and I think of my daughters and son. and 5 grandkids and 5 great grand kids and this is what I pray for each of them. To find a man or woman who will pray and keep their babies safe. your a very smart caring person. who sees what so many don't see. The simple life of loving each other and God. Thank you for writing this. I hope that people see and read and remember this.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Saw this on my friend's Facebook page. Thank you very much. I have never thought to pray for my future in-laws. Thank you!!!

    ReplyDelete
  157. Wow! This is beautiful! My wife and I pray for our children's future spouses every night, but never thought to pray for their parents. What a sweet and beautiful addition to our nightly prayers. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  158. What lovely words! I have only been recently praying for the future partners of my small children, but I never thought to include their parents as well. You're right, us parents - we need all the encouragement and prayers we can get. Thank you for this wonderful reminder! Praying for double helpings of grace for you too!

    ReplyDelete
  159. http://hailtothehair.blogspot.com/2013/07/blog-post_20.html

    ReplyDelete
  160. Love this. LOVE THIS. I don't know what else to say that hasn't been said by other commenters, except that I always look forward to your new posts, and this was truly beautiful. (And, as others have mentioned, this post is making the rounds on my mom groups on Facebook, so it's moving a lot of people!)

    ReplyDelete
  161. This is wonderful! I hope the parents of my children's future spouses see this! :)

    ReplyDelete
  162. I thought I was the only one. This made me smile because I don't feel so strange about praying for my children's future spouses and their families now. I keep thinking of it as helping to create a legacy infused with love and grace in the arms of a God who loves us beyond measure.

    Nicole J

    ReplyDelete
  163. Saving this one! I love it... Although, my "babies" are now 26, 19, 17, 14, and 10 - that does not (hopefully) preclude me from such prayer / sentiment.

    Thanks for sharing this with us!

    ReplyDelete
  164. Just a comment to say that these are beautiful sentiments. :-) As an atheist, I don't pray, but I often send my hopes and dreams out into the universe, anyway. Often, they include similar thoughts. I hope so much that I can be a friend to my daughter's future life partner and his or her family. As someone who is hated by her mother-in-law, because I'm not what she expected or hoped for, I hope to never put anyone through that pain. So, while I'm not praying, I am hoping with all my heart for the same things you are!

    ReplyDelete
  165. I wish I could show you a photo from earlier this summer of my 28 yo daughter braiding her 21 yo sister's hair, who was in turn braiding her sweetheart's 16 yo sister's hair. It was his mom who sent me your blog post from Kenya, where my probably-to-be son-in-law grew up as a missionary kid. We pray for our kids and for each other from half-a-world away, talk online frequently, skype occasionally and had the incredible blessing of meeting earlier this year (where the braiding marathon occurred). Just a few weeks ago my husband and I watched our 24 yo son pour his eyes, heart and soul into his beautiful bride with her lovely parents across the aisle. It is a marvelous journey and I have treasured every step. Thank you for the reminder of those tender early years.

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...